Antipathy for Illegals

I never had a problem with illegal immigrants until 2006.  I understood anyone who wanted to come to America.  We have lots of money here.  Our crap jobs pay more than any other country's crap jobs.  People can come here and support their entire families with two minimum wage jobs.

Then came the rallies. In April of 2006, illegal immigrants from all over the country demanded to have the same rights as me.  I immediately wanted to deport all the ungrateful bastards.  I wanted to build a wall across the Mexican border and tell the whole Latin-American region to go to hell.  Then I thought about some of the laws I skirt because they are stupid.  A few laws have too much red tape, unnecessary policies, confusing wording and obfuscation to be properly obeyed (Tax laws came to mind.  Some tax evaders have my sympathies.  The government shouldn't have the power to tax the same dollar from a rich person six or seven times and then tax them after they die.  It's absurd).  I thought that maybe the immigration test might have the same absurdity to it. Maybe there was a reason so many immigrants avoided it.  I looked it up. I read the material.  I took the test.  It's fine!  The test aims to ensure immigrants know the responsibilities of being American and that they know the language of the law, English.  It's the language that our public documents, laws, and street signs are written in.  It's fair that people who immigrate here should have a working knowledge of the language.  For the Americans who are illiterate, well, it was their good fortune and privilege to be born here.

Hundreds of thousands of people file for citizenship every year and 92% of applicants pass the citizenship test.  It's a fair test with fair requirements, something rare in the federal government.  It is unfair to those people who waited their turn, took the time to learn what it means to be a citizen of the United States, learned the language, paid a fee, passed the test and became Americans.  Illegal immigration is unfair to the people who just want to work here, as well.  They get a work visa, pay taxes, and in return, they are rewarded with the same rights that I have: freedom of speech, religion, attorney, and the pursuit of happiness.  On the whole, Americans welcome legal immigrants. We like them.  My Egyptian friend got his citizenship a few years ago and just recently saved enough money to bring his family here.  I couldn't be happier for him.  It's great to live here and I know what it will mean for them.

Illegals, on the other hand, skip all the proper steps to become citizens.  They don't pay the taxes that I do and they expect the same rights that I have.  They don't want to pledge allegiance to the United States, they just want our benefits.  After realizing that going through the proper steps of becoming a citizen isn't unfair, every bit of empathy I had for illegals disappeared.  What they are doing is tantamount to cutting in line at the bakery and demanding the fresh donuts, which everyone knows is just fucking rude.  Dick move, illegals.


  1. Actually, most "illegal immigrants" do pay taxes, and pay into social security. Yeah, the ones standing around home depot waiting for roofing work don't, but they get paid below min. Wage anyway. I read somewhere that some insane number like 8-10 million or billion is paid into social security by illegals, yet only 1 million or billion is paid out to them.
    Another problem I have heard of is long wait times for the immigration tests. I'm talking months or years. Also keep in mind that your native language is english, so yeah, getting the forms and test location and finding transportation to said location was a lot easier.
    That "take our jobs" group that invited people to do the manual labor that most illegal immigrants do only had like 4 people come forward and try it.
    I think the problem isn't with them or us, the problem is the path between.


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